How did you sleep? So I went to sleep last night praying that dream time would over come me before I went completely mental, wishing I could have Simba on my side, but knowing he would find 4am the perfect time to stare into my face and breathe up my nose until I woke up and played with him. After having a panic free time, this winter has presented several pieces of news, each one a real blow, and making me feel primed to be panicky again, but somehow managing, even with all of them, to keep on an even keel, until Friday when a series of further events led me to collapse in a panic attack which completely consumed me. I ended up in bed, hyperventilating, my chest burning, my mind overwhelmed and broken, shaking and sweating and full blown full body nerve storm.
And also, by the way, feeling ok. I knew that it would pass, I knew that I’d feel jangly and look odd for a while afterwards, I knew I wasn’t dying, I knew if I controlled my breath and waited it would pass. I knew that I needed extra water that afternoon, and that as soon as possible to go and be with people I loved would be part of the coming back to myself process. It was automatic. As soon as I could I ate a snack, and even though I looked like Shrek, went down stairs and carried on with the conversation. My bounce back has increased and I know what to do when the panic happens, and it means, also that I need to ramp up my self care regime so that my jangled nerves have the support they need to come back to non-primed state.
Sleep has been one of the best tools in my reservoir of healing to help me get my bounce back. One super tip on getting a good night’s sleep is balancing blood sugar, which I do by making a smoothie with a couple of dates, a table spoon of chia seeds, water, half a spoon of honey, banana, a flat teaspoon of cacao and sometimes a tiny bit of maca powder. When I’ve had a panic attack, I know that my blood sugar will be more reactionary to sugar and spike and dip more easily for a few days, so by bringing something in that levels out blood sugar like an iron, is a really good plan. With anxiety in general it is also good to keep it steady by eating a little regularly, something that isn’t going to spike your blood sugar, a slow release energy that is easy to digest. I find chia seeds one of the staples in my arsenal of blood steadiness, and coupled with tryptophan supplying foods, which help the body make serotonin, so dates, prunes and cacao are three goodies you can add in to the mix.
So did you sleep ok? I did, as well as the smoothie as the last thing I ate, I also had a drink made with magnesium and Apple Cider vinegar (it’s actually yum, half a teaspoon of vinegar with a flat teaspoon of pure magnesium powder in a cup of boiling water) and also my Chinese herbal medicine which is totally gross, and some CBD oil massaged into the back of my neck. I felt a bit odd yesterday, it was an emotional day plus I was jangled after my panic attack on Friday, but the sleep was completely blissful, and I woke up this morning with energy and good ideas, and wanting to write, which is always a good indicator that I’m feeling good, when what I love to do flows with ease.